This spring I worked on a daily writing habit in a ten week course from the Institut de Pratiques Philosophiques. Here are some reflection notes from the process.
Psychological Reward
In week one I started to use an app that is designed to help with forming habits. I have noticed that my meditation app keeps a count of how many days in a row I have meditated, and because of this I have been intentional not to break the “streak”. So I found two apps that employ this trick which you can set up to keep track of whatever activities with the frequency you set. They have nice buttons to click when you accomplish a task, which adds a nice psychological reward of fulfillment. “Streaks” is the one I prefer, which has a beautiful user interface that is nice to use with the buttons and aesthetic. Marking my completion of my self commitment has helped to stay on track and accountable.
Creative Alternative
One night in week two I did not want to write something for my major writing project, so instead of thinking of it as an imperative or doing nothing at all, I decided to write a different little text, something lighter, more fun, more creative. This made it seem more like a little dessert to the usual serious work. In the end, I had a short but interesting text, and ironically I am now considering that it probably does have a place in my major writing project. The text need not be practical or useful, just the act of writing itself has started to be a self expression of my existence that makes a great difference in how I approach the rest of my activities in a day.
Imposter Syndrome
The imposter syndrome is a way I create an obstacle for myself. My writing project is large and ambitious. When I open the document to do some writing, I feel a little overwhelmed scrolling through the subtitles to decide which part I will work on that day. But I think to myself: today I will just work on one bit, and not worry about the other bits. It has also helped to have conversations with others about the topic I am currently thinking about, so that when I open the document it is to put my existing thoughts on paper instead of waiting for the inspiration to come. Dialogue has been the biggest help to this process when I feel like an imposter, and as a bonus the questions and suggestions of others have enriched and fleshed out the ideas.
Self Critique
In week four I became a little tired and a little disgusted with my own writing style. After writing every day for a few weeks now I am recognizing repetition in the style and sentence structure I use. This is true for my big writing project and my lighter creative writing projects. It seems stale. The content is fresh and I am enjoying finding inspiration easier with the habit development, but the way I write needs more variety. After discussing this with my writing course classmates, I concluded that this is a normal stage of writing and either I can decide not to care, or challenge myself to be more playful and light with the work.
Writing for My Own Sake
In week five I saw some notable increase in engagement with my texts I shared. I started posting my texts once a week for my own sake, not caring about how many people read or liked my posts since I started with the blog for the value I would have for myself. So when the few likes I got were from the same supportive crowd, it did not bother me. But this week I had some replies and engagement in the ideas. Perhaps it was an interesting text, perhaps people are starting to take notice. Whatever it is, it makes me happy to share routine little texts if the occasional one strikes a spark with someone. It is interesting to see what ideas inspire others, and to read their feedback. But even if no one read my writing, the improvements to my own thinking and living still make the daily task worthwhile.
Commitment
The habit of writing has oddly not significantly improved the feeling of imposition when I force myself to write each evening. I have the incentive of knowing that the exercise will be enjoyable in the middle, at the end, and after, but getting started is still rough despite this. What has noticeably improved is the inspiration I take from life. It is easy to find plenty to pick from when I decide what I want to work on that writing session. Both the large project pieces and the new ideas for small texts come easily now that I am in the writer mode. Life is lighter, and I see interactions with more objectivity. Life inspires ideas, ideas make life more beautiful.